The Courage Speech
Not one memory I’m seeing or remembering is what I wanted.
Stop assuming that I am a problem, stop telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. Stop rushing me through the process of healing. I’ve gone through physical surgery and I know very well that wounds heal through time and I can do nothing about it.
Sometimes even when I eat right, rest enough, take the right supplements, things might still go wrong.
Stop putting the blame and responsibilities on me when I’m already dealing with so much pain.
All I ask of you is just to understand and be considerate.
Maybe you’ve never been through trauma,
maybe you’ve never met someone who has gone through or is going through the process of recovery.
I, on behalf of myself and the people you might meet one day who suffer from trauma, am here to tell you and ask a favour.
Be gentle with us.
What happened to us was out of our control and so is the pain that we’re suffering from.
I’m in good hands because I’m in God's hands. He is healing me I know that full well. But, healing is a process. You being part of my community can actually make my process easier or harder, you have the power to be understanding, gentle, considerate and supportive; or you can choose to be critical, harsh or a pushover.
Trust me.
We who went through trauma are as uncomfortable or may I say even more uncomfortable to face our past than you. Do you know how much courage it takes to make a decision to revisit our most painful memories and learn to be at peace with it, just because suddenly in our normal lives a trigger appeared?
It comes like a thief who steals, kills and destroy. We don’t see it coming. If we knew it would come, we had been all the more prepared. If we can deal with it ourselves, we wouldn’t be asking for help. We were the strongest people because we had the strength to keep it silent and out of the world for so long. But it just leaks. The pain was unbearable and it was not for us to keep in the first place. But we tried our best to keep it all together.
My friends, brothers and sisters. What you see today, what we ask of you is just be understanding. The person you are looking at right now is a person who tried their best to solve the problem themselves countless time.
The person who stood up and shared their stories are the strongest and most courageous person I know because they risked themselves with the result that there might be some of you who may or may not believe our story.
That some of you might be so cruel to just call us ‘to get it over with’.
But we still forgive you.
We understand that maybe you are not ready to handle the truth; maybe you’re dealing with your own pain that’s why you rejected our pain because it reminded you of yours. Maybe you were also trying to reject yourself but our actions had reminded you or inspired you to step out to own your story too.
What I’m trying to say is - we need each other.
If you can’t handle us, it is okay, just be honest and tell us.
But don’t try to use harsh phrases or excuses to brush us off as if what we’ve been through was nothing and treat it as if it is just a piece of cake because it is not.
It was a piece of hell.
If you’re not able to listen to our story, then maybe you’re going through your own issues, and it’s okay. I’m not here to compare our pain. Instead, I would be the more willing to walk with you through yours, because if we walk together, we’re able to share the burden of our pain together. And little by little there will be more empathy and understanding among our people, and ideally, it ends up having a community that shares each other’s burden.
Things happen, life happens, wicked happens.
But love is strong.
Accumulated love with perfect love becomes the strongest cure and every person can become who they were made to be.
So all I ask of you is to not go through with me the process of healing if you don’t want or can’t handle it. I understand it is hard stuff and not everyone is is to take it up which is totally understandable.
Don’t be ashamed of it, it’s totally fine.
And so, really, all I ask of you is just to understand and be considerate. Don’t rush us. Give us the time we need, and we’ll take that as your love and support to us.
Thank You.
Stop assuming that I am a problem, stop telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. Stop rushing me through the process of healing. I’ve gone through physical surgery and I know very well that wounds heal through time and I can do nothing about it.
Sometimes even when I eat right, rest enough, take the right supplements, things might still go wrong.
Stop putting the blame and responsibilities on me when I’m already dealing with so much pain.
All I ask of you is just to understand and be considerate.
Maybe you’ve never been through trauma,
maybe you’ve never met someone who has gone through or is going through the process of recovery.
I, on behalf of myself and the people you might meet one day who suffer from trauma, am here to tell you and ask a favour.
Be gentle with us.
What happened to us was out of our control and so is the pain that we’re suffering from.
I’m in good hands because I’m in God's hands. He is healing me I know that full well. But, healing is a process. You being part of my community can actually make my process easier or harder, you have the power to be understanding, gentle, considerate and supportive; or you can choose to be critical, harsh or a pushover.
Trust me.
We who went through trauma are as uncomfortable or may I say even more uncomfortable to face our past than you. Do you know how much courage it takes to make a decision to revisit our most painful memories and learn to be at peace with it, just because suddenly in our normal lives a trigger appeared?
It comes like a thief who steals, kills and destroy. We don’t see it coming. If we knew it would come, we had been all the more prepared. If we can deal with it ourselves, we wouldn’t be asking for help. We were the strongest people because we had the strength to keep it silent and out of the world for so long. But it just leaks. The pain was unbearable and it was not for us to keep in the first place. But we tried our best to keep it all together.
My friends, brothers and sisters. What you see today, what we ask of you is just be understanding. The person you are looking at right now is a person who tried their best to solve the problem themselves countless time.
The person who stood up and shared their stories are the strongest and most courageous person I know because they risked themselves with the result that there might be some of you who may or may not believe our story.
That some of you might be so cruel to just call us ‘to get it over with’.
But we still forgive you.
We understand that maybe you are not ready to handle the truth; maybe you’re dealing with your own pain that’s why you rejected our pain because it reminded you of yours. Maybe you were also trying to reject yourself but our actions had reminded you or inspired you to step out to own your story too.
What I’m trying to say is - we need each other.
If you can’t handle us, it is okay, just be honest and tell us.
But don’t try to use harsh phrases or excuses to brush us off as if what we’ve been through was nothing and treat it as if it is just a piece of cake because it is not.
It was a piece of hell.
If you’re not able to listen to our story, then maybe you’re going through your own issues, and it’s okay. I’m not here to compare our pain. Instead, I would be the more willing to walk with you through yours, because if we walk together, we’re able to share the burden of our pain together. And little by little there will be more empathy and understanding among our people, and ideally, it ends up having a community that shares each other’s burden.
Things happen, life happens, wicked happens.
But love is strong.
Accumulated love with perfect love becomes the strongest cure and every person can become who they were made to be.
So all I ask of you is to not go through with me the process of healing if you don’t want or can’t handle it. I understand it is hard stuff and not everyone is is to take it up which is totally understandable.
Don’t be ashamed of it, it’s totally fine.
And so, really, all I ask of you is just to understand and be considerate. Don’t rush us. Give us the time we need, and we’ll take that as your love and support to us.
Thank You.
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